Many Happy Returns

A birthday comes but once out of 365
Days in a year, most often, so it’s good to be alive
On Planet Earth, where days and years are just the right duration
Contrasted with those other spheres with whom we share creation.

Spasmodic little Mercury whips wildly ‘round the sun
In under three months, hardly any time to get things done.
The birthdays pile up much too fast; the pace would make you swoon.
Your hectic, hurried, harried life is over much too soon.

Venus shows a little less alacrity, although
225-day years can hardly be termed “slow.”
The temperature is sweltering, the seasons never vary.
Instead of April, taxes would be due in January.

687 days is just about how long
You’d wait each time on Mars to hear the Happy Birthday song.
And even if, in lieu of presents, you got cash instead
No matter how you tried to save, you’d still be in the red.

Fifth from the sun sits Jupiter, a swirling, twirling mass
Of hydrogen and helium that takes 12 years to pass
From apogee to apogee, and as for birthday cake:
To strike a match to light the candles would be a mistake.

400 million miles beyond is Saturn with its rings
Where birthday celebrations are infrequent happenings.
And if you lasted ‘til your third, you probably would hate
The fact that you were only three, but felt like 88.

With two pronunciations, both embarrassing to say
Uranus is a daunting distance.  Even though a day
Is only 17 hours long, a year is so much more.
You’re one on planet Earth, but on Uranus, 84.

Go farther still, a billion miles, and 81 more years
Are added to the time before your next birthday appears.
And while the planet Neptune may look pretty from afar
It’s just another massy, gassy, lonely would-be star.




249 years add one digit to your age
On dismal little Pluto.  That, and nothing can assuage
That Pluto does not have the status it possessed before.
Officially, it’s not even a  “planet” anymore.

So cherish your position in the cosmic scheme of things
And with your new perspective, know that every birthday brings
A cause for celebration.  Happiness is the solution.
Be thankful that you’ve made it through another revolution.

© December 13, 2008 by Allan M. Heller